So here I am. My triumphal entry into the world of internet celebrity. I know, there is a half-dozen people out there who are going crazy. But hold the jets and cool the horses; this was a decision made with great temporal and strategic care. I have jumped into the void due to recent vacancies in our mutual consciousness'.
Actually, I got a recent worried call from a worried celebrity that was convinced that he was being hunted by a secret society. In order to further protect my trusted friend, I'll refer to him by his birth name: Biscuit Muncher
TRANSCRIPT:
Jo: This is Jo.
BM: Helrro!? Jo is thrat YUUU?!
Jo: Yea Biscuit, what's up. Do you have my money?
BM: No....I"m scared! There is somerone coming after me...says I'm not relevant and wants to knock me off!!!!
Jo: You need help B. You need help real bad.
BM: NROOO!!! He's croming to crumble me into pieces of particles!!!
Jo: Alright where are you? Are you hiding in a place he won't find you?
BM: Yea. I'm under my bed.
Jo: OMG! Is he in your apartment?!!
BM: No, not ret. He's on his wray! But when he cromes I'll already be hiding. I've stocked rup on all the thrings that I wrant. Grood plan eh?
Jo: No you should run to Lambchops estate. Everyone thinks he's dead. Call me when you get there.
BM: Okay don't hrang up ret! I'm sro scared! The man sraid he got Michael, Brilly Mays, even Ralter Ronkrite!.
Jo: Oh...incoming call. I'll call you back.
BM: Rooo! Don't hang rup! click.
Jo: This is Jo.
Zima: Hey man! I didn't know else to turn to. It's your old buddy Zima. Remember me. Back in 1999?
Jo: Oh Zima! I thought you were discontinued.
Zima: Look man, that's what I'm callin about. Someone is off... to finish me off. He kept talkin about how I was next after Biscuit Muncher. I'm scared man.....God I miss Crystal. I miss Crystal so bad.
Jo: You mean Crystal Clear Pepsi?
Zima: (weeping) Yea, I think it's the same guy. He was so beautiful Jo. I let him go....we all let go!!!!!
Jo: Are you drunk?
Zima: I'm Zima!!!
Jo: Right...call a taxi and go to Lambchops house. I'll meet you there when you sober up.
Zima: I'm Zima!!
Jo: Look big Z, I gotta go. click!
So that's how this whole thing got started. Stay tuned for further information and updates.
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